i finally saw it

Fahrenheit 9/11
I saw it last night, at almost 1 am I started to watch it. I was trying to watch the film from a very unbiased standpoint- yes i disagree very much with the war, yes, i don't agree we should have the current leader in house, but still i really tried my hardest to be objective.

wow. do you know, that is the hardest thing when you throw in human lives. when you start to gamble with families and life. i mean, the information presented has no way of being made up- even if it was, you look at our leader and his whole crew and the way he spoke after our nation's biggest tragedy, was really appalling. Honestly, you can tell when someone is lying to you, the way they speak, their body language- true some people are better at lying- but no, definitely not our President. It was absolutely horrible to see all of the footage of him, Condolezza Rice, Dick Cheney, and all of them, speak two polar opposites within a 4 year period.

Watching these poor soldiers, I felt for them, the ones who spoke disgraceful words to Iraqi captives-they (our countries, sons, husbands, friends) were having a total disregard for life. I don't feel as though they were trained enough-psychologically-for war. How do simple songs provoke you to kill? Are we running a marathon, or trying to "create peace and bring democracy" for another nation? It seems like a spree.

My chest-honest to God- was in pain while I was watching this film in the early morning. My heart was stressing for these soldiers to return to a better place- for the innocence that we have helped them kill within themselves and around them. The civilians, just like ours in the Trade Center, were completely innocent but aimed at. Like a child, who is so helpless and defensive- if the child is hurt as opposed to the adult, the "one in charge", it hurts more, it creates a bigger impact and stronger pain, is that a war strategy? Surely not the war that I have read about that my Grandfather fought in.

That's a different story, of course.

I talked to my brother about this film last night, at 3am when I finished watching it- but had to "rewind" the ending when our leader tries to tell the old saying, "fool me once, shame on you- fool me twice, shame on me" but couldn't seem to get the words right and ended up making a fool out of himself- i'm sorry but that was honestly pretty funny and would have been if it came from anyone who was trying to make some sort of point.

This film hit me hard, it made me feel differently about who i am serving in this life- who am i helping and what could i be doing to help more people? the negative thing about this film was it honestly gave rise to a lot of hurt, and anger towards a lot of people in charge of our country- the injustices that occur on a daily basis and ones that unbeknownst to me, am supporting every second with my unenlightened decisions. All I could do was pray; pray to my God that I know has the unending ability to create such beauty, to be such an amazing artist and love unendlessly. I could only pray that i wouldn't hold so much hate in my heart at that moment, that I would use what i had seen and change. that i myself, might love unendlessly and with such an unbias that i will forgive my leader and what he and the current administration have done.

This is slightly off subject, but still deals with the tender and innocent life of our Creator's imagination. I walked down a pier with some close friends last night and at the end was a big crowd- some people were fishing. We heard there was a shark, and I thought it was just in the water so I looked down, only to see a helpless life dangling by the end of a hook, in the middle of the dark night with only a flashlight glarring down at it's last few minutes struggling to stay alive. It was when they finally brought up the shark and slammed it on the wooden pier, that you could hear the life being taken out of this piece of creation. Its body writhed around, longing to be back in the water. I broke down. I could not bare to watch a life ending for no cause. There was no dire need for this being to be killed, it was pointless.

Events in our life are so creatively orchestrated by God (in my opinion) to teach us. And sometimes-most of the time- it's by our own unawareness that others suffer, but we are not machines, we are real and were given the ability to change and be changed. I hope that I take everyday and learn from what God has planned and use creativity to change for the goodness of love and brotherhood. I pray that we take each day and live for the sake of others and their ability to also create so that love can florish throughout every nation.