Symphony

I was on a walk today. Out of nowhere-as thoughts usually seem to be birthed-I realized how I consider every person in my life to be a truly critical point in the creation of the "masterpiece" I hope to evolve into at the end of my life. It's as if every individual is a dot and digit on a paint by number canvas. As small and insignificant those dots might seem without the connections, once the line travels through them, once the color is added, the significance of that dot is instrumental in the creation of the bigger picture. By the end, once the last dot is connected and once the line becomes an unobstructed continuous shape, the beholder and the creator can bare witness to a brilliant masterpiece. The layers of colors, the textures and techniques speak to the sequence of events that add to our minutes, hours, days, etc...

For some reason, my [our] brain [and this goes for any and everyone else, I only speak for myself since I only know what is in my mind] has an ability to take into consideration the depth and the true meaning of the individuals in our lives. As I was walking, I was consumed by this thought.

Many times, I've told my dear friend, Jon, who is in a very accomplished band, about the day I realized how important each instrument was in their band. I had never been able to hear the bass before, which is what he plays, but one day while at a show of theirs, it hit me: These instruments, on their own, could still sound great but had they not been together, and if each instrument was not there, no matter how insignificant the instrument might appear, the sound that we've heard would not be the same.

Now, this to me seems to be an almost daft realization to state out loud because it seems so obvious. But to me, it seems the most obvious things are never stated because--well, they seem too obvious to state--but in reality, if they are never stated, never vocally realized and celebrated, then we might miss the importance and sacredness of a thing. We might never pay attention to the uniqueness, the seemingly unimportant and the everyday. We might never revere the "instruments" that have been creating the symphony we love: Life.

love & loyalty : inexplicable & indispensable.

There will come a day that I realize I am in love with someone but I'll only know that because he'll be in love with me too. I think on that day, we'll have to also take an oath to always remember why we've decided to love each other and realize that there will be days that we might be mad at each other, days where expectations we've kept to ourselves might be broken and days in which we might undermine the oath that we've created with our decision to be loyally in love.

At the same time, I realize that I could have an incredibly naive picture of what love is going to be like, of how being with one person day in and day out is really going to pan out.

I know one thing, is that we have a choice to be in love. Sometimes we cannot help but be in love, and we fall into it but I think we have the choice-when it comes to being "out of love" to come right back into it. I think as a human, we have a natural tendency to love and to create. So, it is always easier for us to love another individual rather than hate them. However we can-unknowingly- repel this feeling with our inflated pride and egos, but if we suppress them, overlook these crippling tendencies of self-afflicting hurt, then we can allow for love that we are organically created to cultivate in each other's lives.

Either fortunate or un-the majority of my being tends to love more than harbor platonic feelings. This in turn sometimes ends up bringing moments of disappointment rather than complete and unending happiness. However, I have to say that allowing those feelings of adoration for another person to become more prominent not only gives me more joy (if only in that present moment) but it allows for me to hopefully make someone else feel cared about, loved & important.

Love is a choice though, yes, I believe it is. I also think it takes courage to take your heart outside of its cage. I think truly courageous people will love many people but when that person of equal courage meets you and stares you square in the eye and challenges you to love them just as much as they could love you, yes, I believe that's when you've met a match. I think that's when you both have to jump into a journey together and commit to be a living definition of the very word: love.

If you can't pledge a loyalty, a life-altering loyalty, the kind that would challenge the depths of the heart of the most loyalest of lions, then you have no right to commit to someone. Sure, you can choose to be with whomever you'd like for however long you'd like but we know, ultimately, it's in hopes of a lasting connection.

I often find myself in great ocean waves of unobstructed love-of lightening bolts striking me at my very core. It has to end at some point, because it's a confined tsunami. It's nature being contained. There's not an outlet for me at the moment. I kind of feel like there's an amazing earthquake coming soon and he'll be knocking down one of the walls. This enormous wave of unending love will have an outlet soon enough.

lsw.♥