A Case of The Beginnings.

The beginnings. I get sick with them. 

The beginning of something that could be love, the beginning of something that could become a faded memory of someone I once knew, the beginning of the end, the beginning of a vacation you know will end; all of that I'm unwilling to feel okay with. My auto-response is to opt for a route that might never know the outcome; to opt for a state of suspended disbelief.  

I'm frightened of beginnings. They make me think miles upon miles a minute, frankly, at a rate my brain is not quite adept to function at. 

I need an antigen for my reaction to the beginnings. I want to become okay with beginnings. I want not to have the ups and downs of the beginnings but also know that without them, my feelings would be obsolete; we'd be in a state of closed eyes and motionless hearts and for that, I'm willing to itch, scratch, cough, wheeze and sneeze through the scare of the beginnings. 

The Cons.

Usually, I feel good about my wanderin' ways. I feel confident when I'm traveling. I feel confident in the wonderment of where I'll go next. I'd even go as far to say that I would take pride in my unattached,   carefree, follow-the-sunshine-where-the-weather-fits-my-clothes, frequent flyer attitude towards life.

But now I feel different. I want to be taken seriously. I don't want people to wonder where I will be, if I'll stay or when I'll be leaving. Well, I definitely don't want people to wonder when the hell I'm leaving. Ha! That'd be horrible, huh?

It's the fact that I know there's a correlation between my nervousness to start a relationship and my grasshopper-like lifestyle. If I never let it start, there will always be the wonder of whether it was going to work or not. It's that mystery that I long for, the thing that seems to perpetuate my entire existence. It's that feeling of running and someone reaching out to tag you and you have that one last boost of power in your step and that forward movement of your shoulder that clears you; missing the grip that almost made you stay. 

I can recall, as far back as first grade, when the most sought out boy in Mrs. Buckelew's class was the object of my affection. The one I thought about when I listened to whatever sappy love song you listened to on 96.9 The Dove. Mine happened to be by Amy Grant, Every Heartbeat. It's truly embarrassing; just Google the lyrics really quick and you'll see how my "red blood ran true blue." Esh.

What ended up happening, was that I took it upon myself to write Kenneth a letter that simply asked if he liked me, giving him a yes or no to circle and return to me in a timely fashion. To my surprise, he responded with a resounding, yes! Inclusive of an illustration of he and I and some hearts. Seeing this response made my heart stop and caused me to ignore Kenneth for the remainder of the year. Honestly, I don't really remember talking to him very much throughout school. In fact I did a lot to avoid this kid.

Where does this come from?

Another great example of this display of irrational dating was a brief stint in junior high, with my first boyfriend. I would pretend to have call waiting and put him on hold and then tell him I had to get off the phone because I was nervous about how much we talked. This relationship did in fact end soon after hearing he wanted to come to my cheerleading competition; something I think, on paper, sounds great! He must like me! Unfortunately, that Saturday while he was just a few fields over from where I was cheerleading, at his soccer game, while he sat on the bench and I stood from a distance next to a nearby tree and witnessed my hit man whisper into his ear telling him that he would no longer be my boyfriend. It was very God-Father-esque. 

Before you discredit my actions for just being a youngster, I'll let you know that again in middle school, oops I did it again. Brit was right. There was a boy that I had longly loved from a distance. Noah. He played football, he played soccer and he was just adorable. I wondered why he didn't return my unsaid affections until one day he did. He wasn't in any of my classes until one day, this boy who was a grade older than I came a-waltzin' into my mixed-grade math class. My heart dropped in electric-shock. I started wearing my Grandmother's (who had just passed away) gold watch and bracelets to attract his eye. Sparkly things do that to boys, right?

Noah and I began to talk more. He was friends with my friends and on occasion, we rode the same bus home. One day, Noah proclaimed his affections for me, in which I responded that we were just friends! How could he do this to me? I'll have you know that nightly, most likely up to the day Noah told me how much he liked me, I would pray and talk to my Grandma and tell her to please, from Heaven, just let me marry Noah. "Grandma, I love him and please just let me marry him," wasn't that her responsibility as a newly inducted angel? Well, I don't recall exactly what happened to my relationship with Noah after I told him that I just couldn't date him. Confused by my reaction? I am too; to the point that I believe I am comprised of two individuals. 

These scenarios were duplicated scenes in a painstakingly continuous string of occurrences, which hang from my limbs like the countdown chain links you made during the holidays except its purpose was in reverse. They get caught in doors and fortunately (?) the more people see these extensions, the lesser the occurrence.

How does one remedy this? No, really, I'm asking you. My only solution is telling the truth and sometimes people don't take too kindly to your seemingly unthought out show of expression. I now give men/boys outs in any situation. "Listen, I know, I understand, don't worry! We're friends!" she says as she forces a laugh instead of a yelp after her own punch to the gut. Straighten the back, stretch back, take a deep breath and a sense of calm and hopefulness overcomes her. 

That's how I do, ya'll. 

This is all spurred on, obviously, by my first date, on my first night, in my newly moved to town of Austin, TX. Give me a few days to break the news to you on my recent, possible disastrous sequence of events. 

My midnight bus to Austin!

Remember that late-night bus ride I book for just $6? I wanted to revisit that journey from New Orleans to Austin and tell you how surprisingly well the red-eye bus ride went! 

I arrived near the French Quarter around 11:15pm and found the MegaBus pick-up lot in plain sight. After you've purchased your ticket on MegaBus, you can either print out your reservation or simply show them the email from your phone. 

One of the bonuses of traveling with MegaBus are their agents. Their attitudes are some of the most un-jaded in the travel industry! I’m not sure if they rotate jobs within a week, but the guys and gals who are loading the bus, taking the tickets, driving the bus or are there for coordinating and taking questions, are simply kind-hearted. They seem to really love their job and their willingness to over-explain and answer all questions, even the same one five times in a row is refreshing in a time when even some airline agents put no effort into making your travel experience go both smoothly and enjoyably. 

This overnight bus ride really was the best option. First of all, I didn’t have to rent a car for one person to drive 500 miles for 10 hours. Am I environmentally friendly or what?

Other incentives include complimentary wi-fi; you know, that omnipresent thing that is seemingly everywhere and these days seems almost as necessary as that other complimentary thing we can’t see but need: air. [hello, slight exaggeration!]

And outlets! Did I mention there are power outlets? As a more frequent than not overnight airport dweller, outlets are a hot commodity. Granted, sometimes these outlets work, sometimes they don’t but let’s be honest, it’s a large moving vehicle, not a power plant, ya’ll. 

Although I’m not one for sleeping upright, the bus was cool, clean and the seats did recline a bit! I was in and out of snooziness and soon enough, I was in Houston where I made aquaintances with fellow travelers. We only waited for our “connecting” bus to Austin for about 20 or 30 minutes. Et voila!  

I was in Austin in no time. Not to mention upon arrival I did not feel tired at all. I can’t imagine having wasted a whole day driving and spending all of that money that I could now use on refueling food in Food Truck Capitol! (I might have made that title up.)

Simply put, travel with MegaBus. Take your time on the journey. Enjoy your fellow travelers. Take to the open road. Low budget? No excuse! I'm now in San Francisco and will soon be traveling from The Bay Area to Los Angeles via MegaBus! 

The Search

        After a necessary and wonderful time at home with my parents, this Saturday I begin my search for the next place to call home. Although I'm perfectly content in any place where I have friends or family, I love exploring.

        On the evening that I flew out of my beloved New Orleans, close to 2 months ago, my plans and excitement of moving to New York City seemed to escape me. My former fervor and anxiousness for Brooklyn was not packed among my belongings, though, that's where I had them shipped.

        And so I set forth! With a diminishing lump sum in my bank account and a growing lump of nervousness in my entire body! I'll use travel vouchers, airline miles, Mega Bus, my legs and (hopefully) an income from using Gig Walk (more on this later) throughout the cities I travel through. And of course, I'll start out by going back. Yes. Why? To test my strength and to remind myself that life can change at any given turn; at any moment someone can walk into your life; at any millisecond, your racing mind can render each moment into infinite gladness and these are the exact realizations I found in New Orleans.

        Throughout the next few months, I'll be deciding between these cities: Austin, San Francisco and Nashville. During this time, I'll be working an amazing gig with Outstanding in the Field and will be traveling with them around the Bay Area and then joining them again on the east coast, unless I fall into the great fortune of finding a car with a sign that says, "TAKE ME" on it. Well, maybe not, that seems a bit sketchy. During this time, I share with you all of my travel tips, favorite spots to eat and my favorite rest areas--I'm a fool for rest areas. 

Travel Advice

         I bounce around a lot and I do it on the cheap. I never understood when people said they couldn't afford to travel--now, don't get me wrong--I understand that I don't have as many financial responsibilities as homeowners or parents--but I do live minimally with a fluctuating income. I find ways of traveling on the cheap but obviously I always take into consideration safety and strong efforts to avoid prolonged, utter discomfort!

         I now travel solely with Southwest Airlines. My fickle mind and itinerary can change flight itineraries the day before travel and never have to pay any change fees--I might even find a cheaper flight, thus receiving a voucher towards future travel. It's a priceless luxury when you're on a tight budget. Not to mention you can check in 2 bags for free. I suggest you try to purchase your tickets from Tuesday-Thursday, as you'll find the cheapest fares on these days--and I don't mean just traveling on those days, but literally buying them on those days. My flight from Tampa to New Orleans, leaving on a weekend, was $91.00. 

         I'll be in New Orleans from Saturday evening to Tuesday night. I depart for Austin at 11:59pm. Now, I know I said I try to avoid utter discomfort, and leaving this late hardly seems like anyone's dream travel experience, but I found tickets on MegaBus. My normal route with them is from DC to New York City and vice-versa--costing me around $10 roundtrip. However, their tickets start at just $1 when purchased far enough in advance. The bus that leaves at 11:59 from the French Quarter was a whopping $4! It gets into Houston in the early morning (after I've taken my Melatonin) and take one more bus from Houston to Austin for $1. $1. $1. As you can see, I'm excited about this bit of savings. This bus line is clean, efficient and of course, they have Wi-Fi, a convenient time-passer. 

        Essentially, I am traveling half-way across the country for $96. Planned with or without proper time, you can find a great deal in traveling, you just have to know where to look and how to combine the modes of transportation. Arrivederci!