10/366

As with the start of every new year, we tend to think about the beginnings of most everything else in life. Our sentimentality is pulled from every angle as we resolve to be a better person, do better things and pass our days in an unabashed way. My thoughts on the new year tend to lean more towards my relationships and the tracks they are on, how they'll evolve and my intentions for all of them. Over the past few years, I've seen relationships build and then some crumble. Though in most of these relationships I am but a mere spectator or champion of, I take my role as a serious component in each situation. One of the greatest lessons I could have learned came from my sister's relationship with my, now ex, brother in-law. Without going into any details, I--slowly--realized how habituality can sometimes be paralyzing and controlling in that we build and project expectations on those who are the main players in the things we come to expect in life. There's one thing that I am almost always understanding of and it's that we are such fickle creatures. We can change our minds and lead with our feelings and instincts at a moments notice and in this, it can ignite an intimacy that seems was only capable of starting within that window of opportunity. The decisions of another--and ourselves--are as unexpected as the whirling wind. It makes the interactions with eachother an utter gamble. This is the kind of fear that invigorates my every nerve. This year I hope to be even more free of the expectations I could be casting upon my close relationships and in doing so, respect and truly appreciate the spontaneity of their choices and intentions. And of course, if I fail to do so, I have an extra day this year to get it right! Cheers.